The Irrational Fears of Children (or what monsters we really should have been scared of in our younger years)

Re-watching childhood cartoons is a curious business. Obviously I’ve never stopped watching cartoons, but there is a crucial distinction between cartoons aimed at children and cartoons aimed at adults (a distinction that can be best summed up in the first five minutes of episode 1 of Elfen Lied). But something has been sticking in my mind lately, and I’m finding it rather perplexing. So as I always do, I’m going to talk about it to anyone who gives a shit, and use the exercise to help me put my thoughts in order.

When you’re a child, everything is terrifying. You’re a tiny little blob of jelly that’s been parked on planet Earth, and you don’t know anything (in spite of what you might have tried to tell your parents). TV, of course, was your ‘safe’ window to the outside world, teaching you the stuff you needed to know, like how to quickly navigate a swimming pool to collect floating stars, or how to best trap small creatures in a little red and white ball.

But in between the fun stuff, there was the stuff that terrified you into cowering behind cushions. Things like mummies creeping out of tombs in the middle of a deserted museum at night, or catching sight of spectral figures in mirrors. After being properly introduced to vampires (in The Simpsons *groan*) I developed a terrible fear of them, which prompted me to sleep with my neck covered by the duvet.

Dear Christ, I was a wimp when I was little! Why was I scared of these monsters at all?

I’m not talking about the knowledge that the monsters are ‘fictional’ and ‘only in the TV’. I’m talking about logically. Monsters from my childhood make no sense. I was obviously far more impressionable when I was five years old. Gluing me to the screen was child’s play (literally) providing you had access to an entire cement truck full of gunge.

But impressionable or not, why on earth did I fear these thing? Even as a child, on my tiny legs that were of no use to me at all in PE lessons, I was easily capable of outrunning a mummy. And what exactly was their method of attack if they did catch you? They don’t eat you, or turn you to stone. All I ever heard of mummies doing was potentially cursing you, which is a rubbish method of attack. Every child knows that curses can be broken with relative ease, and the mummy still has to get hold of you first. Homestuck fans are more terrifying than this, and that’s only because it’s more difficult to escape them!

Ghosts I don’t understand at all. Now in my adult years, I’m more fascinated by them than anything else, but when I was a child, curtain twitches in my dark bedroom used to make me scared...of what? I think to myself now. All a ghost can do is follow you around like a particularly persistent ex-boyfriend. Sometimes they pop out from boxes or right in front of you while you’re in the shower (yup, definitely sounding like an ex-boyfriend). So they can startle you – but they can’t scare you.

Often they do start airing their grievances and complaining about perceived slights against them to anyone who will listen, rather like those ladies who spend every free moment of their time writing in to the local newspaper to complain about unkempt hedgerows, and vapour trails making the sky look untidy. Annoying as fuck, but ultimately harmless.

And vampires? Bloody hell, where do I start? Gone are the days when a vampire breaking into your house and sucking your blood was a credible threat. Now they sparkle and sit in corners feeling sorry for themselves.

But even if Stephanie Meyer hadn’t come along and ruined vampires for us, there is a limit to how far vampires can be considered a threat, logically. Now I might be a heavy sleeper, but I think even I’d notice two fangs being stuck into my throat. Your neck is one of the most sensitive areas on the body (that’s why it’s an erogenous zone for most women, and some men) and anyone who has had an injection knows how much even a tiny needle stings, because you’re pushing something sharp in through an organ that’s specifically designed to keep shit like this out. Now imagine having two very large needles being jabbed into one of the most sensitive areas of your body. Even someone on a heavy dose of sedative is going to feel it enough to crack the glass of water from their bedside table over the side of the vampire’s head.

And even if you were drowsy enough not to notice being bitten, you’ve still got to drink the vampire’s blood in return to complete the transformation process (vampires apparently adhering to the same laws of equivalent exchange as alchemists). And humans just don’t have the stomach for blood – literally. That’s why when someone has a nosebleed, you’re supposed to make them lean forwards not backwards – it’s not just to make you look less daft. It’s because if you swallow that much blood, you’re probably going to throw it back up. So the transformation would fail regardless.

And this is exactly what I’m going to tell my kids. Obviously I’m going to have to check under the bed and in the cupboard anyway (after all, mummy is a grownup, and doesn’t know any better). But there are far scarier things out there, which I am convinced will enter the realms of cartoon nasties by the time I’m ready to conceive. Werewolves and zombies are still credible threats to a child in my mind (they can and will eat you, even if they can be foiled by silver or moving faster than a brisk trot). But things like the Weeping Angels and Slenderman will also be the nightmares of my children’s generation. Creatures that sneak up on you, and actually pose a threat to your person, and have the potential to separate you from your loved ones (or your head from the rest of your body).

And probably a good thing too. These are at least things that children have a rational reason to be scared of.

Shuffle over boys. There are new monsters in town.

(I was going to put pictures of the monsters down here, but frankly, the prospect of google imaging them terrifies me).

A little squishy project

Hi guys! Just a little update on one of my latest projects that I'm doing between Nanoing.

I do a lot of sewing, and I have lots of scrappy bits of fabric laying around - bits that aren't big enough to make something new, but are large enough that it seems a shame to throw them away. So I'm embarking on a little project to turn them all into cute pincushions!

So as you can see, today I've been cutting out a lot of hearts. What you're seeing in the picture below are bits of TARDIS dress and Sailor Fuku!

I'll add more updates as I find more little bits of fabric, and decide on how I'm going to decorate them. I have a love of buttons and ribbon, but I want to see if I can possibly do something with my stacks of embroidery thread too, so who knows?!

I'll keep you all posted! If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them!

Stumbling blocks to 50K

So Nano has kicked off for my seventh year of participation, filled with plot twists and resting bags of peas on my wrists for a week after it’s over. But when it’s over I have 50,000 more words than I did at the beginning of the month, so I mustn't complain.

I mustn't. But I will.

My motivation for Nano is always subject to fluctuation, depending on the various things going on in my life at the time. These tend to form hurdles on my sprint to 50K, and their size varies greatly depending on how tempting or pressing they are. This year though, I seem to be trudging rather painfully towards the end, even though to the outside gaze, it looks as though I’m doing swimmingly (17K on day 4 is a pretty good result by most people’s standards).

My blocks this year have ranged from the tiny little pebbles to huge mountains on the track in front of me. My big problem is that I have a very short attention span. Even now, writing this post, I’m itching to go and do a million other things. My anxiety doesn't help – when I have deadlines looming or things that I know I should get done, my body goes into a state of nervous tension until I can get them finished. This makes me even more erratic, and any hope of concentration I had goes out of the window.

Other things get in the way. Even though I’m resolutely focused on writing this story, my other stories (particularly fanfictions – Sisters of the Infinite Schism and Shadow Summoners, I’m looking at you!) are waving coyly at me from the sidelines, trying to entice me over with their sexy plot twists and curvaceous characters (River Song and Kisara in particular are being really flirty with me right now!). I’ve spent the last few days listening to one track on my iPod over and over again, purely because its inspired such a wonderful scene for Shadow Summoners that it makes me want to put my Nano on hold and run off to write it. But this way lies demons, mainly because I cannot chunk write (with me, it dramatically attacks the flow of my writing), and doing this scene now would not turn out well.

If these stories are the mythically beautiful sirens on the side of the track, waving at me enticingly, then Pokemon Y is the massive hedge in the middle of the track (you know, the kinds of hedges that are single-handedly responsible for tripling the mortality rate of horses in the Grand National). I cannot emphasise how much I want to play this game. I’m growing rather attached to my team, even if it is currently suffering from a rather glaring lack of balance, with three fires, two waters and an electric type. I get very fond of my Pokemon in my games (yes I know they’re strings of computer code – shh!) and I don’t think I can be blamed for wanting to continue my adventure.

But I have to be good. To that end, I’ve taken to playing it in the one place where it is impossible for me to write – the bath. There is something rather satisfying about reclining in hot water and Lush bubbles up to my neck and level grinding like a woman possessed. All I’d need is a cup of tea to make the image perfect.

And of course, my friends and boyfriend are still here – this is the one thing I will stop for on the Nano track. They’re just too important to me. Jenny and Rob are back for a few days this week, and I’d never miss the chance to spend time with them. Then we’re still in Tennerfest season, and I have three in a row this week (White D’or, Duke of Richmond and somewhere else yet to be decided). Craig is busy too, fighting off the demons of term paper and other assignments in between his job, so at every point he manages to find a second to squeeze himself online, I'm there.

So I have enough obstacles and things to stop for on this track as it is. But the worst thing is that I’ve also got a dead weight dragging me back as I try to claw my way towards the finish line.

I'm always critical of my work, but lately this has morphed into something very real. It’s very rare that I like my writing any more. It’s been building over the past year, but its only since Nano started that I’ve fully got a grasp of what it is. Its like there’s no spark of life in my writing – it’s just words on a page, that don’t inspire anything. I look at my friends like Craig and Jess who are churning out masterpieces, and my own work feels stilted in comparison. And it scares me.

And it’s killing my Nano. I might be writing fast, but I hate what I'm writing. I know you’re not supposed to like your first draft – that’s the whole point of Nano. You’re getting the first draft out of the way. But even all my other first drafts had something inside them; a little ember of something beautiful, just waiting to have petrol thrown on it. But everything I write lately just seems to be a dead lump of charcoal.

I can’t give up on writing, even though it sounds like I might be. It’s the only talent I have (or had). All I can do is claw on down the track and hope that this deadness in my words doesn't last forever.

Character Spotlight: Hana Nasri (Magic Monsters Dominions and Destiny)

Name: Hana Nasri

Age: 18

Nationality: South African

City of Residence: Durban, South Africa

Languages: English, Afrikaans, Zulu (basic)

Occupation: Student (about to start at University of KwaZulu-Natal)

Religion: Anglican

Deck Type: Darklord

Titles Held: South African national champion. African runner up.

Favourite Food: Murgh Makhani

Favourite Drink: Rum and coke

Duellist Biography: Hana Nasri began duelling in local tournaments at the age of twelve, both in Durban and the surrounding KwaZulu-Natal province. She became quickly sick of the stereotyping that regularly faces girls in Duel Monsters, and pointedly rejected the traditional fairy decks in favour of Darklords. Her fast and powerful approach to the game quickly earned her a formidable reputation, that eventually led to her becoming South African National Champion at fifteen, a title which she has continued to hold for three years running. She became African runner up at age eighteen, losing to Tunisian Champion Habiba Salih by a narrow margin. Known for her outgoing demeanour, Hana regularly uses her position to campaigns for women’s rights, and makes a point of befriending other female duellists that she meets in tournaments.

Reports of the Apocalypse - Ayacon 2013

So as most of you know, I go to anime conventions. In fact if you’ve been in contact with me for any decent stretch of time, you’ve probably had to listen to me squeal about them at least once. But fifty percent of the time, I tell people this, and get met with blank looks.

First let me break it down for any of the non geeks who read my blog:

Anime: Japanese animation/cartoons.

Convention: A large gathering of nerds from all over the country (although some come further afield) to meet, socialise, learn more about their shared passion, dress up and get rip roaringly drunk for the entire weekend.

Anime is the main theme for an anime convention, although other nerdisms such as comic books, manga, games (video and non), sci fi, fantasy and other Japanese culture are welcome as brothers in arms. Anime cons are held all over the world, and usually take place in hotels, on university campuses or other public venues. Aside from running social events and giving anime fans around the country a chance to meet and make friends, the conventions also offer panels, workshops, competitions and other fun events to keep us entertained when the alcohol starts to wear off.

This was my fifth convention (Kitacon 09, Amecon 10, Amecon 12, Sunnycon 13 and Ayacon 13 – I was registered for Ayacon 11 but came down with tonsillitis the day before) and in spite of how much I rant about them, I’ve never covered any of my anime conventions in detail. But as I have a netbook this year, I thought I’d take the opportunity to report some of the highlights of Ayacon 2013 for anyone who is curious.

So without further ado, roll the opening credits!

(Translation: terminology for the non geeks who read my blog attached in the footnotes where appropriate)

Thursday 15^th August

A not so auspicious start to our weekend away – our flight to Birmingham was delayed by an hour due to mechanical troubles. I don’t mind living on Guernsey – I really don’t – but on occasions like this I think mournfully of a time when I was at university, and events like this were just a train journey and under £50 away, as opposed to flight delays that set you back by about £250. I spent most of the wait in Guernsey’s tiny departure lounge yawning and declaring to anyone who would listen that AMs were a ridiculous notion and should be scrapped for the benefit of all, and cuddling Tai, who was leaning as far away as she could from the child who was loitering creepily at her shoulder for about half an hour.

On the plus side, The Jeremy Kyle Show was playing on Guernsey Airport departure’s lone widescreen TV, so we had something to take the piss out of while we waited.

We made it to Birmingham, and settled for lunch at Costa due to the small size of the airport, before setting off for the train station and discovering a Subway right inside – words cannot describe our disappointment.

I wasn’t sure what I expected Coventry to look like – its one of those cities I’ve heard mentioned in passing on television and film, but never actually seen or bothered to investigate. First impression was that it reminded me of Southampton, only with less sea and many many more trees. Also it has some rather interesting looking statues and sculptures around – the ones that twist and form weird shapes that you’re sure are supposed to have some kind of symbolic value beyond “it looks like a slinky on crack”, but bugger if you know what it is.

Warwick University, the location of Ayacon, is by far one of the most difficult to access anime conventions in the United Kingdom, unless you happen to be lucky enough to own a car, in that it’s miles from the city centre. Which is a shame because the campus is rather lovely. There’s a lot of road, admittedly, but the walks alongside it are shady, leafy and surprisingly peaceful. We got rained on as we arrived, and fled for the relative safety of the SU.

With rain striking unpredictably and our room keys still not ready for another hour, Tai and I hung around with her anime soc from York in the empty games room (1). The York anime soc are lovely people, and have awesome dress sense. I immediately went into fangirl mode over Mike, who informed me that he was cosplaying (2) as Rider from Fate/Zero, though I calmed down significantly when he told me that he was only wearing the tshrit, not the full armour (a little disappointed, but the tshirt is still cool). I also fell in love with a pair of Steve’s boots – heeled, knee high, and purple with black lace. I don’t mind telling you that I started drooling over the head of my Bakura plushie just looking at them.

Did I mention that most of York anime soc wear corsets (yes, the men too)? Now these are my kind of people! Next year, I’m determined to join the corset awesomeness!

The halls are what I’ve come to expect from student accommodation – standard furniture and blank walls. And for a con, that’s all you need. Your room is just a place to crash, store your cosplays and apply make up and hairspray. A polite sign on the hall doors informed us not to leave our windows open, for the magpies are numerous and fond of our complimentary biscuits. Tai and I instantly got to work hanging up our outfits – this is the soundest advice I can give any cosplayer. For Gods sake, find hangers as a matter of urgency, and bring a travel iron, especially if you’re like us and make your outfits out of cotton, linen and all of those other easy-to-crease fabrics!

There were two small leaks in my suitcase – my shower gel, and my body spray. Still, they’re both Lush, so there are worse things that they could smell of. And speaking of smelling, the belt of my Kisara cosplay, which was dyed in coffee to make the colour darker, still smelt like you’ve wandered into Starbucks. Apparently someone introduced Kisara to espressos. Beware the caffeinated Blue Eyes White Dragon!

As Tai had been to Ayacon before, she could report from experience that the limited eating establishments on campus are like a January sale in London during convention meal times. So after unpacking and locating the kettle and teabags (we got complimentary hot chocolate and biscuits too, which makes me love Warwick all the more!), we consulted our maps over a lovely cup of tea, and found that the Tescos was a twenty minute walk away. Might sound long, but its actually a rather nice walk, and there was a Boots next door too, which turned out to be a blessing, as Tai and I had both reached that moment in the first day of the holiday where we had remembered all the things that we did not have.

Top tip for cosplayers – if you’ve forgotten to buy a wig cap, buy a cheap pair of ladies tights. Tie off the legs close to the crotch, cut the excess off, and voila! Instant wig cap. If you are not wearing a wig, please disregard this advice, unless you wish to be mistaken for a bank robber.

Top tip for people wearing shoes – buy blister plasters! Tai learned the hard way at Amecon 12 that nothing will ruin your weekend faster than blisters. This advice may also be used by people who aren’t wearing shoes.

As well as all the little cosplay extras, we also purchased instant noodles, just in case the aforementioned rush of hungry con-goers proved too much. Its moments like this that I’m glad that I live in a country where we have electric kettles that don’t need a stove and boil in under three minutes (suck it America!).

Taking advantage of our free schedules, Tai and I headed into Coventry for dinner. After a little researching, we decided on Nandos, with me vaguely hoping that I might convert another of my friends to my favourite Portuguese chicken chain. Sadly it was not to be – Tai had a rather lacklustre pitta and left unimpressed. Next time, we shall bring our ID and go next door to Weatherspoons.

Fed, our next challenge was obvious – sorting out our cosplays for Friday. Hanging them up is all well and good, but breaking out the travel iron is almost a requirement for most outfits. We spirited one of the four ironing boards out of the kitchen and set up camp in Tai’s room. She got to work ironing Sango, while I tackled the second most important job of cosplay maintenance – wig brushing.

Experience has taught me that a good wig is always a more expensive wig. Nowhere is this more apparent than brushing. I never look forward to brushing my Lucy wig, which was cheap, and really needs replacing as clumps of the hair have vanished, and some of the plastic strands have been stretched out. Kisara was not cheap, and brushes like a dream. As I have no head stand, I ended up using one of our big bottles of water, which gave the unfortunate impression that I was displaying a severed head on my desk.

Prepped, all we could do now was get some sleep before the madness kicked off tomorrow.

Friday 16^th August

One of the biggest advantages of anime conventions is the cooked breakfasts.

I rarely have full English breakfasts, and these days I’m so conscious of my IBS that I avoid most of the stuff there like the plague. But on this occasion I treated myself in moderation and made sure to have a lot of fibre and peppermint tea to supplement the indulgence. Double bonus for breakfast –we met up with our long time convention friend Mew, and her companion con-virgin Adam.

Double negative for the morning – it was raining. Heavily. And two of my three cosplays had problems with the rain. I hastily abandoned the idea of Kisara that morning and donned my kimono instead. Luckily the Costcutter on campus was selling umbrellas for £3. Tai was smart and brought a raincoat, which at least sort of matched the colour scheme of Sango.

Fed, we headed for registration in the rain with our friends. Registration was remarkably quick, and I caught sight of possibly the bravest woman at the convention, cosplaying as Princess Leia in the gold bikini...in the rain. I had to salute her.

Our lunchtime stop was Cosplay HQ for the Tails Workshop, stopping at the cosplay board to add our own pearls of wisdom to the wall of post-it suggestions. I for my part, recommended body tape. The Tails Workshop turned out to be a lot of fun, and not only because it was two hours spent making terrible innuendo around the bag of stuffing. Tai walked away with a lovely white cat tail, and I came away with a brown wolf tail.

We had lunch at the cafe in the Arts Centre before heading for the opening ceremonies, which ended up being shorter than I was used to (but amusement was found in the queue outside where about eighty percent of the con-goers immediately got out their DS’s and began playing). I also spent the next two hours with the Imperial March stuck in my head after overhearing two blokes at the table next to us talking about Star Wars. We located many of our friends in the Opening Ceremonies – George, Zack and Gideon all popped out by the end (we’d also located Francis outside the Costcutter earlier and much hugging ensued), and it was lovely to see them all. We raced outside for a quick photoshoot before heading for the next panels.

Tai and I quickly discovered that our sentence of the day was “Steampunk and then Penguins” used to describe our evening. The Steampunk (3) panel followed on from the Opening Ceremonies, and made me rather hyper for hats and cravats. This panel was immediately followed by the Illustrated History of Anime Penguins, which was every bit as awesome as it sounded, and sent me into a giant squee-fit when YuGiOh! got mentioned. I was a little disappointed that YuGiOh! Abridged didn’t make it into the list, if only because it meant that the presentation was lacking one of my favourite quotes.

“Wait, how did you get all that information about me?”

“The penguins told me.”
“How the hell do the penguins know my bra size?!”

“THE PENGUINS KNOW EVERYTHING!”

Anxious about the history of Ayacon’s busy mealtimes, Tai, Mew, Adam and myself headed for La Gusta one of the restaurants in the Arts Centre, which I believe had only been opened recently. I was certainly inclined to believe this fact, as we went in and it was mostly empty. Service was a bit slow, but the food was good so I was not going to complain.

Adam and I shot off after dinner for our favourite panel – Bring on the Yaoi Army. As a huge yaoi (4) fan I always look forward to this panel, and I did enjoy it. I didn’t win anything this time, but to be honest I have more manga than I know what to do with. I enjoyed the clips and took a few notes on animes that I might want to get into, up until the last five minutes (anyone who was there may understand why the last two clips made me slightly uncomfortable).

Yaoi-ed out, I ran back to my room to change, before meeting up with Tai and Mew at karaoke. I did not stay for all of it, wanting a decent night’s sleep so that we could hit the dealers room (5) early the next morning, and I paid for this by missing Mew singing. Bollocks!

(The lovely board of cosplay tips, and me in my kimono) 

Saturday 17^th August

First thing in the morning and I already knew that my cosplay was going to cause problems.

With rain forecast on and off for the rest of the day, I donned Lucy with terrible cynicism in my heart. And sure enough, as soon as I put the wig on, I realised that this was probably going to be the last con that it ever attended. It was a mess, and being made of cheap plastic, it resisted brushing like a puppy being confronted with a bathtub.

Next wig I’m getting for Lucy will be short haired.

But I had no time to worry about that after breakfast. Sith Lord Tai and I had a dealers room to hit! We dropped into the queue and I happily whipped out my DS like a good little queuing fangirl. Just after ten, we were let loose inside. And what a dealers room it was! We popped in and out several times over the course of the weekend. Initially I bought a dress, but on trying it on at lunchtime I found that it was too small over my boobs (now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say!) so I swapped it for a trilby with cogs on it, which I have no shame in saying is now glued to my head when I’m not at work.

On top of this, I came away with a collection of steampunk trinkets, a cute little steampunk broach, some soaps for my friends, a tshirt with a chibi (6) version of Cthulhu (7) on it, a badge with a Creeper on it (8) and of course, my bodyweight in pocky (9).

Panel one for the day was Fanfiction: Make Characters Yours, where we did a load of character building exercises, and I ended up yelling at Yugi for not talking about himself enough (yes, we know you love your friends, but for the love of Cthulhu tell me how you’re feeling after almost being killed, not how they’re doing!). We then moved to Norse Myth in Anime & Manga, which was completely fascinating and featured a most beautiful memorable moment where the bloke presenting flipped over to the slide about Loki and began telling us about the Trickster God, only to pause as a Loki cosplayer chose that exact moment to walk into the room. To their bemusement, they received a hilarious round of applause.

Next up was Acting in Animation, hosted by voice actor and regular Ayacon guest, Matt Mercer. Matt Mercer, like many voice actors, is completely adorable in real life, and I did a small squeal in my seat as he mentioned being the man who voiced Kiritsugu Emyia in Fate/Zero, something that I was totally unaware of. We heard some really fascinating stuff about dubbing and voice acting, and some hilarious anecdotes about the kinds of mischievous and naughty things you can get up to when you can change your voice at will. An hour later, Tai and I were back for his second panel, Geek Pride: The Return of Mercer, in which he spent a full hour talking non stop about his current roleplaying campaign. I have never felt more at home.

We managed to find time here to go to the Games Room, which was quite possibly one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Not just two DDR machines and fancy gaming consoles set up as far as the eye can see, but loads of old beautiful retro games consoles including the Sega Mega Drive and a Game Cube. During the opening ceremony the day before they had announced that the games room would be running a competition to see who could get the fasted speed run of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Emerald Hill Zone 1 if you’re interested), and sure enough there it was in all its glory. I ran my hands over the controller for a long time before shelling over £5 (for charity) to see how I did. I’ve played this game since I was a kid, and I have played it recently on the DS so I was familiar enough with the level, but I only managed to achieve 28 seconds, which was still a high score at the time, so I left feeling pleased, resolving to practise on the DS when I had a chance.

Five o clock saw us at one of the highlights of any anime convention – the Masquerade (10). There aren’t really words I can use to describe how awesome the masquerade always is. I snapped about a million pictures of a million different cosplayers, all of whom looked truly fantastic, and made me want to do my own entry for next year. Special mention must go to the poor furries who could not see out of their costume, especially Tails, who ran into a wall en route to the exit, and Totoro who caused the entire hall to collectively hold their breath and pray for the survival of the judging panel in the front row.

Take away pizza from the restaurant followed before we changed for the party that evening. I instantly ran into problems – the cyst in my eyelid was worse than ever after just two days of make up, and I immediately removed all traces of it from my face, and promised myself not to wear anything for Kisara the next day.

Anyone who has been to anime parties before knows how awesome they are. The entire York anime soc was there, along with several of the convention guests, including Akemi Solloway, who is one of the sweetest people on planet Earth, and who was reduced to hysterics with the rest of us by one of the anime soc’s unconventional dance moves. I got involved in two conga lines in which I high fived about half of the people in the room, and cheerfully rocked out with everyone else to Power Rangers, Pokemon Johto and a club remix of Still Alive. I called it a night just after one o clock, wanting to save my feet for Sunday night, and to give my eyelid a chance to rest.

(Me cosplaying Lucy, and some of my favourite cosplays of the day!)

Sunday 18^th August

Sunday dawned with the equal parts trepidation (nuuu its almost over! Whyyyy?!) irritation (this is usually the point of the con where the exciting days and lack of sleep start to take their toll on people, and tempers become just a tiny little bit shorter) and excitement. It was time for Kisara. This was the cosplay I’d been looking forward to loads, and for which I had been cursing the rain and its repeated attempts to crash the convention.

Which is why it was such a kick in the stomach when I found that my wig was misbehaving.

I had suffered terribly the day before with my Lucy wig. Its always been tight around my head, but my hair had spent most of Saturday doing its very best to thwart me, and I’d ended up with a pounding headache by mid afternoon. Now here was Kisara, by far the better wig, and already being thwarted by the same problems.

Let me explain – my hair is heavy. Not as heavy as it used to be when it was a foot longer, but still heavy enough to pull a wig off. So unless I tie it up, pin it to within an inch of its life, and put a wig cap on, it will always find a way to escape. And even with all those precautions it will find a way out anyway thanks to being remarkably silky and slippery. My hair laughs in the face of restraint.

I did my hair as best I could and put my wig on. The fringe was a problem, as I knew it was going to be – unfortunately it is nearly impossible to find a wig that does not have a fringe these days, so Kisara was having a fringe with pins in it to keep it out of my face. By the end of breakfast, I could already feel it slipping, so I took drastic measures. A hair tie, two hair clips and fourteen hair slides later, I was back in business.

Hair sorted, Tai and I headed for the dealers room again to make our final purchases before heading for the Combat for the Camera panel. I lasted half an hour before my wig started to protest at all this exercise, and I gave up. This turned out to be a good thing, as I was able to get some excellent shots of Tai pretending to punch people in the face. Matt Mercer showed up too, which was incidentally hilarious.

We missed Japanese Traditional Dancing (sorry Akemi!) and hung around for the end of the panel. This was about when my hair tie, two clips and fourteen slides failed me, and my hair finally slipped free of the wig once more. I cursed up a storm and marched my ass into the nearest bathroom. We hung around in the Games Room and I shelled out another £10 (again, for charity – I was determined to win that PS3 damn it!) to see if I could beat the high score. Unfortunately at that point, the high score was now 21 seconds, and I just could not get myself over 25.

We headed for the Winging It workshop next, and I fashioned myself a pair of fairy wings out of wire, tights and sharpie, while Tai made herself some lovely feathered wings out of foam. We then nipped off for the Closing Ceremony and Sunday Night Live. After watching grown men being forced into embarrassing outfits, and giggling myself silly, the skits began. Several stick out in my mind, including some fabulous stand up comedy about hentai, a beautiful Japanese dance, and a fun FMA burlesque performance, all of which can be found on youtube. The night ended with a hilarious show about the impact of anime on your life, which left all of us growling “Animeeeee!” to each other for the rest of the night, and the sight we had all been waiting for – Matt Mercer in a dress. I had to laugh at the fact that the MC could just yell “Anyone got a dress?!” to an audience and have someone immediately stand up and wave one out in offering.

Tai and I had no time for a big dinner – there was a party to be hitting – so we bought some pot noodles from the Costcutter and pretended that we could not feel the preservatives invading our blood stream. At just after ten o clock, we hit the party dressed as Moltres and Articuno once again.

Tai instantly encountered the same problem that she had last time – Articuno’s tails are long. Not as long as they had been, but still long enough for them to trail on the floor in range of puddles of spilt alcohol and people’s dancing feet.  I was also having problems with my dress, as I quickly discovered that congaing in such a huge skirt was potentially hazardous to my health, prompting me to hike it up around my knees and wedge the fabric under my arms before joining in. Next year, I shall install two ribbons at the front for such a purpose.

All in all, we struggled a bit through the party, but that didn’t stop us from raving until one in the morning with all of our friends and the York anime soc. Several of the boys were rocking gorgeous corset and boot combinations, and Si contributed with some of his truly epic headbanging. We ended on Bohemian Rhapsody, swaying shoulder to shoulder with everyone else as we kissed Ayacon goodbye and headed outside for the after party.

I went to bed after fifteen minutes because I thought I could see the empty bottles on the ground moving by themselves.

 

(In which Matt Mercer gets dressed up and I cosplay Kisara, and find more lovely cosplayers!)

Monday 19^th August

Opened the door to a zombie...or at least, that’s what Tai sounded like at seven thirty in the morning. She was shuffling like every single one of her limbs was a rusty hinge that had been left outside during an extremely bitter winter, and I soon found out that was not far from the truth. It turns out that after I left she had stayed until three thirty whereon she decided that leaping down the massive staircase in a tight dress was a fabulous idea. She had grazed all up her arm and knee, and her ribs were aching from the tight boning of her dress. I hugged very gently for the rest of the day.

They say that the blind should never lead the blind, and even on four and a half hours sleep, I was feeling the pinch of tiredness between my eyes. Tai was worse though, with the entire weekend now playing catch up with her. I kept praying that she would not be making a second flailing dive down the steps. I honestly didn't think I could save her. But thankfully we made it to breakfast with no more injuries.

And then we walked into breakfast - what was this? People queuing for breakfast, smartly dressed, fresh face, and well turned out? What was this devilry? Turns out they were a teaching convention that had just arrived, and they seemed just as shocked to find the room slowly filling up with the survivors of the Aya apocalypse, all of us on less than four hours sleep, most of us hungover, and a good portion still drunk. A small amount of us were still in cosplay, coupled with jeans or pyjamas, creating a horrifying cluster of patchwork people.

At anime cons, even the morning after effect is glorious.

I decided to go all out, and finished off my cooked breakfast and some cereal, alongside orange juice and peppermint tea. Tai revived a great deal over her own food, and Eevee informed us with a tired smile that she had left Si alone in their room with the cans of Relentless. Chuckling, Tai and I left for the arduous task of packing.

Tip for anime con goers - your cosplays grow when you wear them. That lovely flat ironed fabric that you brought with you will never be that compliant in a suitcase again. Tai and I played a lovely game of 'Find the Empty Space' before we headed for the lounge. We had two hours to kill before we had to be catching a train. We were in for a surprise as we passed the taxis and found Si, upright, dressed, and talking animatedly on his phone.

I will never question the abilities of energy drink again. Apparently it has the ability to resurrect Lazarus.

We spent a lovely two hours with the York anime soc, ripping the stories Daily Fail to pieces and recovering from our nights out. I swore like a trooper over my DS, and hugged my wonderful fellow nerds goodbye. I truly love them all. The beauty of an anime convention is that you are never alone. Everyone is your friend by default. Camaraderie among nerds is one of the most touching and warm feelings on the planet.

Eventually Tai and I said our long sleepy goodbyes and went to get a taxi. We shared with another con-goer who was heading back to Germany, and who gently informed me that I had a wasp on my finger. We spent the rest of the taxi watching it crawl in a droopy fashion up the seat and onto the back shelf, all three of us tense like we were transporting a Weeping Angel in our midst. I bolted from the taxi as soon as we pulled into Coventry station.

I mused over Subway, whilst humming Hare Nochi Guu and listening to Tai telling me to stop singing, that the life of a nerd is usually very lonely. We get teased, and picked on and bullied because we obsess over things. And because we have such an obvious passionate attachment to something, it’s like a huge target for someone to take shots at. And people know that shooting at it will be effective.

But one of the biggest boosts to self confidence comes from knowing that you are not alone. And nowhere is this more apparent than at anime conventions. Because there are other nerds out there. People who are just as obsessed with penguins, slash and numbers that exceed nine thousand as you. There are people who will come up to you and hug you and tell you that you look amazing in that costume. There are people who will sit in a queue with you and have a Pokemon battle. There is a whole community just waiting to get drunk with you and have a rousing round of Caramelldansen.

So find a con near you. Book yourself in. And remember, what's the one thing that can solve all the problems in your life?

...

ANIMEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

See you all at Amecon 2014!

(1)    An anime soc is a university student society which is full of people who share the same interest in anime – a little bit like a school club or sports team but with more adult themes and meetings in pubs.

(2)    Cosplaying is the hobby of fancy dressing as characters from various anime/manga/video games. Contrary to what you may read in some of the newspapers, it is not a time consuming, money draining, soul sucking waste of energy, and teaches many valuable skills, such as how to iron clothing, how to use a sewing machine, time management and presentation.

(3)    Steampunk refers to a subgenre of sci-fi and fantasy which features steam powered machinery. This genre is found most prominently in books, films, music and clothing (it’s a bit like what would happen if you stuck Victoriana and Wild West into a blender, added a pinch of Goth and hit the ‘go’ button).

(4)    Yaoi translates to ‘boy love’ and encompasses the entire genre of gay fictional media in Japan.

(5)    The dealers room is a large area at an anime convention set aside for traders to sell their merchandise. This usually includes anime DVDs, manga volumes, toys, clothing and accessories, trinkets, food and artwork. This room may also encompass a ‘bring and buy’ where attendees can bring their second hand clothing, DVDs, manga etc to be sold on like a yard/car boot sale.

(6)    Chibi is a Japanese word used to describe something that is both small and cute. Usually used in a condescending fashion, or (when screamed by fangirls) as a term of endearment used to express the delightful adorablness of a person or object.

(7)    Cthulhu is an eldritch abomination created by HP Lovecraft. Renown for being one of the most terrifying things in the universe, all who look upon his face are said to go completely insane. He is also the mascot for the Winchester Association of Roleplayers and Gamers.

(8)    A Creeper is a green monster from the popular game Minecraft. Its method of attack is suicide bombing, and its name stems from their silent approach (broken only by the hissing noise you hear right behind you the second before they explode).

(9)    Pocky are thin straws of biscuit which are then dipped in chocolate or other flavourings such as strawberry, banana, milk and green tea.

(10) In anime conventions, a masquerade is a modelling show for fancy dress and cosplay. These are sometimes judged, and occasionally will be used as ‘heats’ for professional cosplay contests such as Eurocosplay.

Cosplay Spotlight: Lucy/Nyu (Elfen Lied)

Costume 1 (underwear): My second cosplay, this one happened by accident. I was walking through New Look (excellent place for cheap clothes that you can cut up into pieces and dye the life out of for costumes, if you don’t have the luxury of living near a Primark) and saw a pair of green cotton shorts that immediately made me think of Lucy. They were cheap, so I bought them. I later went and bought a cheap vest shirt from the same place. I made sure to buy the top three sizes larger than usual, as Lucy is supposed to be borrowing a man’s underwear at this stage, and the clothes are noticeably baggy. In colder weather, flesh coloured tights may be used. The shorts are excellent because they have pockets (perfect place for keeping seashells).

Costume 2 (black dress): My fifth cosplay and the one where I learned that you cannot sew jersey. You just can’t. I’m sure there’s probably a way to do it without having your sewing machine chew it up and spit it back out, but you have to be a rocket scientist to figure it out. Once I have become a rocket scientist, I will be completely redoing the top of the dress.

Essentially, I bought a lot of grey jersey fabric and used another dress I owned as a template. This went badly wrong for many reasons – one the design was totally different, and two the fabric was totally different. I ended up just wrapping it around me like a towel and pinning it where I thought it went best. And it still has a huge bulge in the side that I need to take in when I have time.

I realised that I was going to have to do the black trim in jersey too, in order for it to stretch with the dress. Unfortunately I did not have enough time to order any in (this was another last minute cosplay) so I bought a cotton t-shirt from Marks and Spencer (size 22 so that I got the most fabric for my money) and cut off the hems, which were the neatest part of the shirt. I then sewed them to the top of the dress as the trim and the straps. As the fabric is jersey, and the design is meant to be tight, the dress actually holds itself up – which is good, because thanks to the aforementioned sewing difficulty in the first paragraph, the straps are useless.

I bought a long sleeved pink top from New Look. Luckily, pastel colours were in that year, and it was not too hard to find the right shade. The long socks were ordered from ebay, due to the difficulty of finding grey and black stripes.

Make up: I keep Lucy natural and light, though with a little bit of definition on the eyes, as she is supposed to be an anime character. Due to my wimpy nature and a bad first experience with broken contact lenses, I am unable to turn my eyes red for this cosplay.

Hair: My wig was a cheap one off ebay, but experience has taught me that it is almost impossible to find a wig that perfectly matches Lucy’s hair colour, due to the vibrancy. I am still looking for a higher quality replacement. Her horns I made by buying a pink hairband, making a pair of cardboard horns, and papier macheing them half to death. It took several weeks, applying a new layer each day, to build up the appropriate thickness, and to mould them into the correct shape. I then painted the interior a very very light grey in order to get the contrast. I have a backup pair just in case the first ones snap.

Amecon 2010 (I'm on the left - and I don't mind telling you that it was bloody freezing!) 

Cosplay Picnic 2011

Amecon 2012 (I didn't realise till after the con that I'd picked up the wrong ribbon for this cosplay >.<)

Nurse! Steven's out of bed again!

Okay so it's taken me two weeks to finally sit down and post my thoughts on the season finale of Doctor Who, and I'm sure by now the details of that episode have filtered out of the average fangirl's memory, so I thought I would take the opportunity too to post some of my long term thoughts and opinions on the series as a whole.

First some basic facts. I have not watched any classic Who, though I have read enough of the basic details to have a decent understanding. I am a diehard fan of the revived Doctor Who, and its two little siblings the Sarah Jane Adventures and Torchwood. Favourite Doctor so far is 10 because he had an excellent balance between serious emotion and side splitting comedy. Favourite companion so far is Donna, because she was funny, mature, and most importantly, did not want to bang the Doctor. Martha was fine once she got over her crush stage, and I liked that she was very independent and capable to a degree from the start, something which only grew and crystallised completely after she left the Doctor. Rose I had no problems with at the time, but I now find a little clingy and exasperating.

And then we moved into the Moffat years, and then came Amy. Oh lord how I wanted to slap her. She irritated me terribly for reasons I still cannot explain, but mostly because she was quick to drop her boyfriend, and run off with a complete stranger (time machine be damned - she still effectively walked out of her own wedding, with no idea of when she would return). Thank God they brought Rory in later on in the series (though even that was touch and go with him dying, being erased and then being plastic). I know companions often can't help developing a crush or (heaven help us) fall in love with the Doctor - I do understand that in a situation where you're being whisked off for a once in a life time opportunity to see the wonders of the universe and where your only constant companion is a madman with a box, you are bound to develop a serious attachment to that person - but the best companions are ones who grow out of their crush (the quicker the better) and use their experiences on the TARDIS to carve their own life out.

This is why I've grown to like River so much. At first I was determined not to like her, because she made my Mary-Sue senses go haywire - I now realise that this is an unfortunate side effect of her timeline. We usually meet most characters at the beginning when they're just a blob of nothing, and we watch the story gently shape them into their personality, growing on us slowly as they do. River did this in the opposite direction - she started out ready shaped and moulded into her own person, and we had to go backwards and watch her regress to her origins, which did make her come off as a bit too perfect in the beginning.

But I like her because she's a great representation of something that sci fi and fantasy generally (not always, but often especially in the past) lack - a strong female character. She doesn't need the Doctor to come and save her from the monsters, and she doesn't just stand there and shriek for help. She pulls out her gun or hallucinogenic lipstick and gets herself out of it. Okay she occasionally needs to be caught by the TARDIS when she flings herself out of airlocks and buildings, but she always knows what she's doing. Yes, she is very obsessed with the Doctor and has been from birth. But at least she's not dependant on the Doctor the way that most of his companions are. She very much has her own life.

Plus she's a nerd (archaeologist) and has awesome hair.

Anyway, onto the Moffat era as a whole. Moffat as a writer is not bad when he's writing something he is good at, like Sherlock for instance (I also make no secret of being a Sherlock fangirl). Sherlock needs complicated plots and twists to fit the tone of the story. Sherlock has always been about holding on to your understanding by a thread as the plot pulls and drags you through revelation after revelation. Its deliciously complicated and genuinely surprising.

But Doctor Who is not like Sherlock, and it is here that Moffat struggles, especially since becoming showrunner. I will never argue that he writes excellent monsters for Doctor Who (indeed like many fans I find myself surreptitiously keeping an eye on every statue as I pass it in case it comes to life and zaps me back in time) but being able to produce a good monster, and a good plot are two different things. It is on plot in Doctor Who that Moffat reminds me of a child off his ADHD medication. He continues to weave new plots and ideas into the series, without properly resolving the effects of the last one. Why did the TARDIS explode in the first place in the S5 finale? How were the Silence related exactly to the cracks in time all over the universe (people kept saying that 'through the cracks we saw Silence and the end of all things')? If 'Silence must fall when the question is asked", then why did I see no sign of any Silence at Trenzalore? And how exactly did the Great Intelligence get involved instead? Surely if the Silence's entire founding belief is that they will meet their end when the Doctor goes to Trenzalore and reveals his name, they would have at least sent a few Silents along to check it out and see just how fucked they are, even if they can't be asked to send an entire swat team for a last ditch attempt to stop it!

It seems just as we might be tying up a couple of loose plot threads, Moffat throws half a dozen more strings into the mess. And his set up really leaves a lot to be desired. Would the revelation of Mels = Melody = River have not had much more impact if we had actually met Mels before in the series as a background character? Instead she was (almost hastily like they were hoping none of us would notice) squashed into the beginning of S6E8 and hardly done justice. I get that you only have thirteen/fourteen episodes per season to resolve things, but surely it would be better to have less open plot threads, and spend and entire season properly setting up and wrapping up one or maybe two at a pace that the audience can stand, instead of trying to tie up five of them hastily in the last episode? But like a child off his medication, Moffat's attention span seems to be shorter than Amy's miniskirt.

Anyway, back to The Name of the Doctor. I have already stated my misgivings with the Silence, and the set up, and the hype over this being one of the most perilous moment's in the Doctor's life, so I'll say no more about it, other than it was a giant friggin' letdown. Vastra, Jenny and Strax always make for an appealing comedic sidekick act (with extra badassery) and I was pleased that we got to see more of them in this series. Clara's reveal as to why exactly she keeps dying was an interesting twist, and I admit, one that I did not predict, but I never really warmed to Clara as a companion, mostly because I spent most of my time yelling at the screen for the Doctor to just explain to her very simply "I AM MARRIED!".

Speaking of married, the River and Doctor farewell scene may be my favourite romance scene of 2013 - say what you will about the pairing, the scene was passionate and moving enough to reduce me to tears, and that was one of the best onscreen kisses I've seen in a long time.

Villain wise - the Great Intelligence never really felt like much of a threat to me right from the start. It felt like a one off villain, and really should have stayed that way. Trying to turn them into the series' big bad was a total flop - like the Silence suddenly went on strike and they had to recycle a villain from the Christmas special to fill the space. And while the Whispermen had potential, I can honestly say that I have no idea exactly what they do. Again, they felt like a stop gap measure because the finale had not checked all its boxes by having a freaky looking new monster in it. I get that they look creepy and are capable of murder (though was it even murder? Jenny was fine after Strax did his nurse routine) but we never see how exactly they kill or why they are a threat to a person. They just walk up to you with their teeth bared and...then what?

Its not enough to look scary - after the initial shock and creepiness, you have to give us a reason to fear you. This is true of any villain. You can't introduce a threat to the characters, and then expect them to keep being scared of it - you need to slowly reveal the true nature of the threat they present in order to expect a rational person to keep fearing them. For instance, when the Weeping Angels first appeared in Blink, we knew that the statues kept changing position, and that people kept getting sent back in time. That was the initial creepiness and fear that made your skin crawl. But as the episode progressed to about two thirds of the way in, we learned the true horror of them - that they only move when you're not looking at them, and suddenly the creepiness upgrades itself to fully fledged terror as you realise the implications that this has (the implication here being that even blinking can lead to your doom). The Whispermen never do this. They're just there, being creepy for the whole episode, and you cannot expect anyone to keep fearing that an hour later.

In my considered opinion, Moffat needs to just take a nice long sleep, and stop thinking of ideas for a little while. He instead needs to gather up all his loose plot ends, and start tying them together, because no matter how much he might be hoping, nobody has forgotten them, and they are still there. He needs to spend a season wrapping up all the threads, and giving the audience a conclusion that actually answers more questions that creates them. Maybe if he gets back to work on Sherlock for a little while, and channels some of his new ideas into that, this will actually happen. Let's give Steven a chance, but keep the straitjacket on standby just in case.

Character Spotlight: Koji Oku (Witches Wizards Shadows and Souls, Magic Monsters Dominions and Destiny)

I did say I'd do a few of these, and so here I am! These will be little insights into my OCs from fanfiction and my original work. Enjoy!

Name: Koji Oku

Story: Witches Wizards Shadows and Souls, Magic Monsters Dominions and Destiny

Age: 10

Nationality: Japanese

City of Residence: Osaka, Japan

Languages: Japanese, English

Occupation: Student (5^th Grade at Toheki Elementary School)

Religion: None

Deck Type: Pyro lockdown

Titles Held: Honshu Junior champion. Japanese runner up. East Asian runner up.

Favourite Food: Dorayaki

Favourite Drink: Coke

Duellist Biography: A relative newcomer to international tournaments, Koji began to gain fame when he was eight and became one of the youngest competitors to make it to the final of the Japanese Nationals, where he lost to Joey Wheeler in the final round. Koji first got into Duel Monsters when he was six, when it was recommended by his teacher as a way of improving his arithmetic. After a few successful card shop tournaments, he entered his first professional tournament at age eight, claiming the title of Honshu Junior champion. His favourite monster is Solar Flare Dragon. Koji wants to carry on duelling in the future, though he says if that does not happen, he would like to be a presenter on Mythbusters.

Repair

This is a locally shot music video featuring a couple of my friends. Music is good to listen to, and I am very impressed with the quality of the music video. Good job guys!

How I "Got Into" Writing

One of the questions I hear authors get asked all the time in interviews is, “how did you get into writing?”. I always wonder if authors are just as perplexed as I am when they hear this question. “Get into writing”? Writing isn’t like a musical instrument, which you actually have to pick up and learn. Writing is something we are all taught to do from about the age of three or four. And children make up their own stories way before they have learned how to correctly hold a pencil.

So I’ve never really accepted that writing and creating a story is something you have to “get into”. I see it as something every child has been doing from the minute they started dreaming. But to give a less philosophical and more definite answer, I was writing from a very young age. But when did I start writing. When did I actually think to myself ‘I can do this seriously’? I was sixteen. But the process that led up to it, began much earlier than that. It started with one fangirl who discovered through her friends that maybe she could indeed do something with her life, and not just sit, be lonely and watch movies forever.

I have no shame in admitting that I was the social outcast of my year – not the only one admittedly, but as I soon learned in school, being a social outcast yourself doesn’t make you safe from the other social outcast’s wrath (and they are no less vindictive than the popular people). Words like ‘nerd’ and ‘freak’ were normal modes of address for me, and while I bear these labels with pride now, I had less grace and even less backbone back then, and took my slated position in school very badly. My self esteem was rock bottom for most of my school career, and I was convinced that I had no talent in anything, save a rather strange ability to recite movies and tv shows almost word for word.

I’d dabbled in story writing ever since I was six – writing short ones about my teddies, and daring adventures with my friends, like any self respecting child with imagination does. But these were little projects to amuse myself, and of no value, or so I believed, to anyone.

But then I turned sixteen and something amazing happened.

I’d been loaned off my friend Tai (or as she is sometimes known, Meuble) a rather hefty wedge of paper that was titled “Harry Potter and the Something or Other” (and which I do believe I still have a copy of somewhere in my room). This rather impressive mass of pulped trees, had been written by two of Tai’s friends, who were dabbling in the art of Harry Potter self insert fanfiction.

I was completely enthralled. The concept of putting yourself in someone elses story and having your way with it had never occurred to me. My mind started ticking over ideas and possibilities. I knew I wanted to try this. But I had no idea how to go about it.

On a whim, to see if I could provide my mind with inspiration, I began compiling lists of completely random things, among my limited circle of friends. Asking them what animal they would be if they had the choice? What magical/super powers would you choose for yourself? If you could own any mode of transport, what would you pick? And suddenly, a new idea took hold. A little story, just for fun, involving me and my five best friends, and all our answers to my favourite questions.

This ‘little story’ quickly evolved into Random Scribblings of Bored Minds, a collaborative effort between all of us, that ended up spanning 88,583 words long, taking us into outer space, turning our skin yellow, violating many speeding laws, and traumatising Lord Voldemort with hugs.

And I was having the time of my life! We were our characters! We were doing things we would never be able to do in real life! We were being ourselves and getting away with it! We had a loose but definitely existent plot going on! We had a talking lyrebird and a cursed emergency water landing button! It was exhilarating!

Slowly it dawned on me, that not only was I creating something fun, but I was actually good at it. I was churning out pages like a machine, and to my untrained sixteen year old eye, they were pretty good. Certainly most of my class bullies could not do this – the only out of class writing that they participated in was sending text messages containing gratuitous use of the letters “OMG!”. Obviously now the curtain of cynicism and self editorial has fallen over me, and some parts of that story make me groan. But even now, eight years on, I still laugh at the jokes, and smile at it in the same way I would smile at a child trying to build a treehouse out of leaves and fistfuls of mud. Because it was the moment when I realised that contrary to what the rest of my year thought, I actually had some fucking talent!

And the means to develop it were only moments away.

As previously mentioned, Tai had provided me with my first introduction to the world of fanfiction. But she was not going to leave it there – oh no. This was a world I was born for, and I am eternally grateful to her for introducing me to fanfiction.net. It was my paradise. The possibilities were mindblowing. I could practise writing whatever I wanted. I could let people read it and leave comments. And most importantly – it was the internet, and I had a penname! Nobody knew it was me! I trawled for months, and then eventually worked up the courage to start posting.

Like most people joining fanfiction at that time, my big love was Harry Potter, and so unsurprisingly my first fanfiction was a Harry Potter one, and like almost every fanfiction author, I look back on it now and perform the well practised headdesk manoeuvre. But I will never delete it, because it represents the start of my serious writing (now I had deadlines to meet and fans to please as well as myself) and most importantly, is a reminder of important lessons that I learned along the way.

I did learn, and I blossomed. I taught myself about description and dialogue. I learned how useful a thesaurus was. I discovered the perils of shipping and fangirls. I figured out how to leave clues to my plot all over my story. I learned that characters have to grow and change in order to be interesting. I discovered a love of yaoi that will last a life time. Even as I finished my A-Levels, left school and headed to the big scary world of university, I never looked back. Why would I? Writing had become a friend, and a flower of self confidence that now bloomed in my hands.

University was the structuring of my talent. The rules of grammar, spelling and punctuation that I had missed out on by not doing any English related A-Levels now came back to haunt me, and I had to teach myself quickly where all those curious little marks went. Fortunately, there were Emmersonne and Yuallica, who encouraged my ideas, and would introduce me to the literary miracle of NaNoWriMo.

By the end of my first year of university, I was moving out of the Harry Potter fandom, and had been camping happily in the Yu-Gi-Oh! fandom. And as the summer holidays began and I vanished off to Portugal with some friends for a holiday, I had another project in mind that was soon to become one of my proudest achievements.

If fanfiction had thrilled me, crossovers were a dimension that I completely adored. After the enjoyment I’d found in doing Random Scribblings, I knew I could be good at crossovers. Reading Harry Potter and Yu-Gi-Oh! crossovers was a thrill, but I realised very quickly that they were all exclusively about Voldemort getting his hands on Shadow Magic, in some form or another. And while there was nothing wrong with this format, I wondered to myself if I could not try something different. Of course I knew that season four of Yu-Gi-Oh! is a source of constant debate in the fandom, with some liking it, some tolerating it, and some ranking it with the same disgust that they would direct towards a corrupt politician, smothered in cocaine. I knew that some people would hate it. I knew that I was jumping on a bandwagon. But I wanted to write it, so off I went.

The results were phenomenal. I wrote almost 400,000 words, the most I’d ever dedicated to a single project. I finished it, which was an achievement that I had only been able to do a handful of times. And seeing the reviews come in was one of most rewarding experiences in the world. Yes, the sequel sat in limbo for about three years. But it is a mark of how much my crossover meant to me that I eventually did pick up the inspiration again. And the beauty of it was that after so long, watching how my writing had improved filled me with one of those cliché warm glows that everyone bangs on about.

Speaking of cliché  it would be remiss of me not to mention the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society, the brainchild of my rather brilliant and crazy best friend, Emmersonne. You would have thought after so long I would have had my fill of self inserts. But no. This was far too good an opportunity to pass up. And as the few stories grew to over two hundred, and our number of members expanded from two to over twenty, I found my circle of friends expanding once again, and most importantly, lurking in that circle, was someone I would soon call my boyfriend.

On the writing front, the Society reminds me to lay back and enjoy the ride of writing sometimes instead of editing myself inside out. And it too was a learning curve. I found myself developing a sense of humour. Not the kind where I rattle off jokes every few minutes, but a very real and cynical type, based on the three S’s of British humour – Sarcasm, Self Depreciation, and Deadpan Snarker. Parody was taking the piss in a beautiful way – and I really really enjoyed doing it. If only I had developed that particular skill back in school...

I of course wrote other things as well in this long period of eight years. There are more unfinished stories on my computer and in my memory stick than I’d care to count. There are countless self inserts that have now been hidden away from the light of day. And deep in these folders are my impossible fantasy worlds, my sappy teenage chick lit, and my poorly written sex. There are hundreds of characters, who I still love in their own way (even the villains). Several of them have gone to sleep deep in their stories, while others come out every so often for playtime. I have an entire cast who have been rehoused in different stories four times! I have now found a world that I think works best for them, and plan to go back to it someday. I have a fanfiction that I started five years ago, and which I have now unearthed, dusted off, and decided to start slowly rewriting. I have a piece of cliché, sappy chick lit that I look at every so often, and wonder if it still has potential.

And of course, my novel sits front and centre of my non-fanfiction related stuff, currently plodding through its second draft. Sometimes I love it. Sometimes I get frustrated with it. But this is a healthy relationship, (not something I just “got into” like a musical instrument), and I will see it through to the end.